Hey friends,
First off, wanted to say thanks for your support regarding my last post about losing weight, eating healthy, all that jazz. A lot of you reached out to me after I wrote that massive ramble about my 11 months of hyper self-control, and it means a lot to me!
So, if you recall, in the months post-counting, I was still very much focused on eating wholesome foods with limited sugar and limited processing. It was easy when I had my own kitchen and bought my own groceries. Of course, post-diet I allowed myself to splurge every once in a while, but that's what it was: allowance. I hadn't figured out how to find a normal relationship with food yet.
And of course, this story didn't end when I left for Europe, but it definitely changed its tune. I went from being very in control of what I cooked and ate to practically no control in a matter of days. When I worked at American Village, the camp in France, for two months, counselors had easy access to camp food, and we splurged a bit as well, buying baguette, cheese, and Speculoos cookie butter to evening meetings. At this time, I tried to be thoughtful about what I ate in some aspects, such as having oatmeal for breakfast instead of cereal, and trying to eat as many veggies as possible at lunch and dinner.
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| Gotta love that delicious baguette |
Yet, I indulged much more on white bread, cheese, and sugary snacks than I had in the months prior. My thought process was along the lines of, "well, you're being active all day, and this is Europe! You deserve to eat what you want on this trip. YOLO."
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| Guilty as charged. |
The first few months of my time in Europe set the stage for most of the next several. I would grab a candy bar at the train station, or hop into a bakery for a slice of chocolate cake and an espresso after a day of wandering a city. I was excited to try new foods, and did so with gusto. It was great for a while- I was barely focused on what I was eating in terms of health, but more about impulse and experience. Looking back, I also tended to stress eat when things didn't go as planned. As I still get anxiety when I travel, spending extra times in bus and train stations is not a good idea, especially with cash in my pocket! Hello, Snickers bar, haven't had one of you since I left the states, YOLO.
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| Sometimes, I eat really well, like at this vegan restaurant in Prague. But sometimes I just eat ice cream for lunch. |
Looking back I see that I also wasn't as active as I had been in the states. Yes, I was walking a fair amount, or working in a garden, but compared to the constant run/bike/yoga system I had at home, my activity was much decreased. So, unsurprisingly, eating more/exercising less led to a few undesirable weight and body changes that I wasn't expecting. By the time I got to the farm in Bulgaria, I was ready to clean my diet up a bit, which was perfect, because Rodo only provided vegan ingredients to cook with. I used that time as a "cleanse" to stop eating sugar and cutting back on bread and simple carbs. After the farm stint was over, I felt so good that I decided to remain a vegetarian.
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| Vegan shepherd's pie, with lentils and lots of veggies |
After a few months of yoyo-ing between no sugar weeks, full fat dairy products, and eating too much bread at restaurants, I find myself in Bod, once again in control of my own kitchen and ingredients. It's been great to be back in this position, but I've been working harder to be more aware of what I'm eating- and not in an obsessive is-this-going-to-make-me-fat way, but in an, "Am I hungry? Is this the best thing for my body right now?"
intuitive eating way. I've also worked to cut milk and most other dairy products out of my diet. While house sitting, I definitely have not been as active as I was on the road, and now most of the time my eating habits reflect that- only eating when I'm actually hungry, and trying really hard not to eat out of boredom! It's been a good challenge, and I hope it helps me after I leave Bod and continue on my travels.
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| Typical breakfast of toasted muesli, banana, soy milk, and black coffee |
When Allison and I took the train to Brasov, I was telling her about my constant food journey, and brought up my tendency to use YOLO as a reason for eating this, trying that, etc. Her response was one that she heard from a friend. Yes, you only live once, but how do you want to live? Eating without regard for your health, or by taking as much care of your body as possible? Something to think about.
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| Donuts post-mountain hike (everything in moderation, including moderation) |
Overall, I can't say I truly regret my diet choices since I've been in Europe. Yes, I've gained some weight, lost some muscle, and made some sugar-soaked mistakes along the way. But I'm looking at it as part of the greater process of coming to terms with who I am- that it doesn't matter how much I weigh, or how those jeans look on me. Instead, I try to focus on how I comfortable I am being myself, and how I feel at any given moment. And sometimes that candy bar makes me feel great. And sometimes it makes me feel terrible. But it's all a learning process, right? I've learned I don't need breakfast as soon as I wake up in the morning, or that I need to eat before I work out. I've learned that coffee tastes better without UHT (ultra high temperature) milk. I've learned that I can live without meat, and, more importantly, I can live better without meat. It's all an adventure, and it will continue to be!
Also, if you're interested in lowering your everyday sugar consumption, I highly recommend reading this article about
not going cold turkey.
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